12/12/13

Regressing and Frustrated

Full disclosure, I'm going to talk a lot about poop in this one.  

This summer, we happily purchased our last pack of diapers.  Avery was showing signs of being interested and I was VERY interested in not shelling out $30 a week in diapers.  We initially moved to Pull-Ups, because they worked very well in training Olivia.  Avery, however, was more stubborn that we gave her credit for.  The Pull-Ups felt like a diaper, so while she would use the potty, there wasn't the typical "don't feel the wet yuck" incentive for her.  A simple switch to thick, cotton training pants and Avery was golden.  A few stickers and M&Ms, but rewards weren't a huge incentive.  Just being able to "do it mine self" was plenty good for her.  Accidents because fewer and further between and life was great.

Well, almost.  She still wasn't really interested in pooping in the potty.  After rewards, bribes, downright begging and constant loads of laundry, we just ignored it, and then it happened - she pooped in the potty.  All on her own!  The house erupted with joy, and again, we continued on a path of fewer and fewer accidents.

And again, we hit a road block - and I use the word "block" very literally.
Avery got more and more anxious about pooping, so she'd poop less and less, making it more painful when she would.  Vicious cycle.  Lots of tears and stress.
We started using a softener.
Still pooped her pants.
We resorted to a laxative and knew it was only a matter of moments before something was going to happen.  IT was going to happen.
And it did.
In her pants.  After sitting with her in the bathroom, offering a paci, a movie, cookies, a pony, anything… she still waited until lights were out at bedtime and pooped her pants.

Saving grace - hard poops are easier to clean up after.  Gross, but I need to find some silver lining.

So now what?
After watching her cry for an hour, I was almost brought to tears myself knowing that she was in pain and incredible distressed by the situation.  As much as my mommy-self wants to help, Avery needs to do this all on her own.  This is something that I absolutely cannot do for her.

Obviously, something is making her anxious.
Obviously.
But how do I reason with a 2-year old to find out her fears?
The answer to every question is: NO.  Even when it's a yes.
     "Do you want to have this cookie?"
     "No." *grabs cookie*

Do we go back to Pull-Ups knowing he's just going to poop her pants anyway?
Stop encouraging the potty all together and just leave in a constant state of carpet cleaning and laundry detergent?
The simple answer is yes.
But then my heart breaks a little that we'll slide backwards instead of moving forward.
I am allowing myself a few pity-party moments to wonder if I'm doing enough as a mom.  It's my right as a parent to question a little, right?

Big picture, this certainly isn't going to cause any major life failures in the future.  The rational-me knows everything will work out fine (just like the sleepless newborn nights or even Liv's thumb sucking.)







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