People in Your Corner

Life has sucked a bit lately.
And I don't mean for me, exactly.

I have friends who are struggling with the stress of children,
trying to have children,
just the run-of-the-mill crap that we all know will cross our path in one form of another at some time.

A friend is family you choose.

Their joy and pain is mine to share.
I love when my friends are happy.
I hate that my friends have pain.
I'm sure you can relate.

When I was in high school, there were eight of us.  We were thick as thieves.
And even after college and real-life, we have maintained some semblance of connection, even if it's only from the genius of Mark Zuckerberg.
I love Facebook.
We've poked holes in photos of "that guy," danced at weddings, held new babies, cried over lost ones.
Even managed to keep track of the little good things and bad things.
The whole nine yards.

Some of my life coincides with these stressors.
A lot of them don't.
On the one hand, I am very grateful for that fact - of 127 stressors, I don't have 100% of them, just 70 or so.

I have a very strong, loyal bone in my body.  It's one that tingles and I get mad. I really struggle with the hand some of my darling friends have been dealt.
I hate so see loved ones hurt.
Hate it.  Cry about the thought of it.  Think, if this were me, my world would be squashed and the mere thought kills me, let alone to know it is someone's reality.

What's funny about this all
is latelyI've felt a little isolated from my "norm."
I left my 9-5 job and lost my work-family, and things in my life seemed to just shift.
I didn't have my afternoon emails to check-in.  No commute home to call and catch up.  Life just got in the way and I let it.

I've been off.
I've felt alone.
I had moments where I was trying to count on my fingers what friends I would call to confide in,
and strong, stubborn me limited myself out of pride.

And then real shit hits the fan for people in my world.
I'm probably not on their top five list of emergency contacts, but that's not for lack of love or caring.
I hope they know that.
I might be the 14th person on a list, or the 54th but I want to be there, in any way that I can.
When my pride clears it's stubborn head, it will realize that I'll need more than fingers and toes to count people in my corner.

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