8/5/13

Things I Don't Have Time For

Ever notice how busy you are?  And I don't mean looking at your iCal and seeing that the days are full and you can't find time to have dinner with your best girls, let alone a date with the hubs, and when on earth are you going to fit in that wax and pedi?

I mean mentally and emotionally BUSY. A mind and heart constantly working on overload to find balance and calm and peace.
You work, either for love or money.
You do laundry, because eventually the world will need to see you in something without Cheetos or ketchup residue.
You make the bed, because it reveals some semblance of order and care to your "sanctuary" which normally serves as a napping post and snacking blanket to the under 5 set.
The mundane are necessary and yet, they are all consuming and "simple" things take a toll on patience and sanity.

So with the "every day" here's what I don't have time for:

Keeping up with the Jones
I see gorgeous homes, with their clutter-free countertops, neatly organized mudrooms and fluffy white bedrooms.  This is not me.  We LIVE in our house.  There are some days I would give a left pinky to have a maid come and deep clean the house but, I cannot ignore that this house serves a bigger purpose.  We eat meals, and play games, and make projects and MAKE A MESS.  I would be a liar if I didn't say there weren't moments when the clutter drives me over the edge and I go on a cleaning rampage, taking no prisoners.  This house will never be a page from a Pottery Barn catalogue. I won't be a blogger with impeccable photos of their craft room and kitchen spaces. I will continue to be real, invest in Clorox wipes and try to keep the mess to a dull roar.


Portion Control and Water
Health and weight are two topics in the forefront of just about every woman's mind.  I love my US Weekly, but I hate the articles who have celebrities saying they look the way they do by eating quinoa and breastfeeding.  They leave out the trainer, chef, nanny and 22-year old metabolism.  Giving such a blanket "solution" is unfair.  Some women can eat lettuce and run 10 miles every day and not move the needle on the scale and others can eat pizza and beer and still, not see that needle move (for better or worse).  I am trying to be more self aware.  More health, less junk.  More yoga, less stress.  Run if that makes you feel good.  Do jumping jacks, run stairs.  The point is - find what you dread doing, and once it's done, your body feels so good you want to bottle it so you can remind yourself what it will be like the next time you try to talk yourself out of that workout. I feel like I'm trying to do better, so I am actually better.  That's all I have time to focus on.


Judgmental Opinions
This may come as a shock to many, but I really don't care what you do.  I have a lot of opinions and thoughts on what I do in my own life.  I am introspective and critical, and while I can talk smack from time to time, I really really don't care what you do.  Safety and health aside, I could care less if you and your same-sex-partner speak only Latin to your home schooled, raw-vegan-breastfed 12-year old.  In the grand scheme of things, makes no difference to me.  What I would have time for would be judgement coming back at me.  I love those who have a strong viewpoint, but it's YOURS.  Not mine.  It's sad to admit that I take this bit of advice from RHONJ:  I may not love it, but I have to respect it.

Focusing 100% Elsewhere
Working part-time, I do get to play mommy a lot more than your classic 9-to-5 gal.  I can do art projects and go to the park and just hang out with my kids.  I also know that I cannot give 100% of myself to these little critters 100% of the time.  I need to have some downtime.  Maybe I will regret this once they're too busy for me.  In fact, I'm sure I'll always look back and want more.  However, at the same time, I need to make sure that I am the happiest, best mom I can be for them.  If that means, taking an interuption-free-hour in my bedroom with Project Runway, I don't think I should apologize for that.  I am lucky to be a mom and have these girls in my life.  I complain, but I wouldn't change anything for a minute.  Thirty-seconds maybe, for a glimpse of quiet, but in the long-run:  never. I don't have time for the mommy-guilt that says "I shouldn't want a moment for me."  We all deserve to poop without an audience (can I get an AMEN!)


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