Mean Girls

When I was in high school, I had seven amazing friends.  The eight of us were amazing together.  And even when we were in college, we tried to stay connected as much as we could.  I admit, our circle may have been a tough nut to crack at times.  I'd like to think that when we'd meet "new people" we gave a fair shake, though I'm sure that wasn't always the case.  But I know for sure, we were never bullies.  We may have not always gone out of our way to be nice, but we weren't "The Plastics" either.

Remember them...

But we grew up.  Some of us grew apart.  And our little world wasn't so little anymore.

I share all of this because I recently had a mean girl experience.  

Like first EVER.
And it was in my adult life.
Who's MEAN outside out high school?  Maybe even college?
But seriously, isn't there a point where we just grow up, move on, change priorities and just let go??

DISCLAIMER: this isn't a post to bash said "Mean Girl."  I am fairly positive that she doesn't even know I write a blog, let alone would read it.  And I will include no deciphering details - though for the right price, I might rat her out.
My objective in this post is to highlight the silver lining I found from my "Mean Girl Experience."
At 30.  Again, can't believe this stuff happens to women my age.

After not seeing or speaking to this "Mean Girl" in months, I have a voice mail on my phone.  This person called before any person would be awake and functioning, let alone able to answer the phone, so I suspect they were hoping for a message, rather than a personal confrontation.  The majority of the attack was on my character, and that was hard to not take personally.  I mean, character is kind of the defining characteristic of a person.  To say that mean things about a person strikes to the heart.  I suspect, this "Mean Girl" is well-skilled with her manipulative rants, and she knows this.

At first, I laughed.
This "Mean Girl" is bat-shit crazy.  I've known for awhile, thus the distancing from her.  This random outburst only solidified it
Next, I felt sympathy.  Obviously, this aggression is really misplaced, and I know things in her home/life/world must really really suck to lash out this way.
Then, I felt sad.  Not for her, but for me.  I let these shitty, passive, mean girl digs get to me.

So I turned to write (with a glass of wine, Avery was a menace today, on top of everything!)
I knew I could find a silver lining.
I was talking to my mom over the phone about the message, and Liv overheard.

She asked:  Why would someone be mean to you, Mom?
Me:  I don't know, baby.  But we're better than that.
Liv:  Be nice to our friends.  That's a rule in my preschool, right Mom?
Me:  You are absolutely right.

Be nice to our toys, be nice to our friends, be nice to our teacher.

Life should honestly stay that simple sometimes.


Shar Martinez said...

Wow! I'm glad that you didn't let it get to you too much... I probably would've reacted completely different... and crazy... (o.O)

But at least your little one knows, it's always good to be nice! :)

♥ Shar

Sara said...

Love the simplicity of a child's mind! Mainly because they are so smart an I wish everyone stayed that simple!!
I didn't have a problem with mean girls growing up. But at 30, there is one girl, I've never met, who feels the need to make fun of me because I happen to be beat friends with a girl she doesn't like from high school. This mean girl treats my best friend the same way. BUT since its through twitter and her blog we can just not read it but we know its out there.
We also feel bad for her, because she must not be happy and this is how she handles it.
Sorry you had a mean girl experience. No matter out age it affects us the same, but at least being older we can understand its them, not us. :)

Lindsay said...

Your daughter seems to have the answers. Life needs to be that simple. I wish it was that simple. Mean girls suck and I feel I have run into quite a few as an adult and I just don't get it. You handled it well! Sorry you had to go through that.

Melissa said...

This reminds me of "All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten". Kids can be so smart, and so intuitive. And some girls will still be mean girls at 30, at 60, and even 90. But then they're just mean old ladies. :)

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