6/5/12

My Backstage Rider

One of my (many) guilty pleasures is reading the gossip mags.  I even get some delivered to my home - US Weekly comes to Madame Lizard Brownie (thanks to the subscription being set up by my hilarious sister)

You've all seen stories about the extraordinary celebrity requests for their dressing rooms:
  • Adele asks that her tour bus be stocked with "a selection of “bite-size” chocolate bars, including Twix, Aero, Milky Way, and Mars"'
  • Beiber requests "one Vicks Personal Steam Inhaler, Purell antibacterial soap, and an assortment of plain white t-shirts and “lo-rise” socks" - why can't be pack his own clothes??
  • Jennifer Hudson wants "some baked hot wings" when she's done performing on stage.
  • Van Halen (back when anyone cared if they toured or not) requested that all the brown M&Ms be removed from the candy dish.
How how does a person even get to be that PICKY? 

Maybe it's the toddler mentality of "let me see how much I can get away with."  And if you get big enough, no one says no.  But that doesn't mean you should make some poor, minimum wage intern run around like a lunatic trying to check everything off the list.
So I thought, in the interest of dreaming big, what would I ask for in my dressing room?  What would I make that poor intern do for me? So, just for fun, pie in the sky - the ARTIST, Liz, would ask for:
  • A private bathroom, with Jacuzzi tub large enough so the ARTIST can lay and have both her boobs and knees in the water at once.
  • Four (4) giant, fluffy, white bath towels.  Preferably bath sheets from Pottery Barn.
  • A buffet of food from Noodles & Co., including the Mac and Cheese, Med Salad and Med Sandwich.  No cucumbers may be used in these dishes.
  • Chips and guacamole from Chipotle.
  • A deli platter of various meats and cheeses and Italian antipasti
  • A plate (8 or more) of Snickerdoodle cookies from Noodles & Co.
  • Various candy, including Swedish Fish, Skittles, Mini gummy bears and Milk Duds
  • A case (24 or more) of chilled bottle water.
  • Twelve (12) bottles (not cans) of Diet Coke with Lime, on ice.
  • Twelve (12) bottles (not cans) of Summer Shandy, on ice.
  • Three (3) chilled bottles of Ecco Domani Pino Grigio
  • One (1) chilled bottle of Grey Goose
  • Three (3) bottles of Diet Tonic Water
  • Six (6) limes, cut into wedges.  Limes must be juicy and not dried out.
  • Bucket of fresh ice, separate from pop and beer containers.
  • Furniture must include,: a large couch, long enough for the ARTIST to nap on, two large arm chairs, no extra throw pillows, two (2) faux-sheepskin throws from Pottery Barn 
  • Massage therapist on-call
  • See separate CHILDREN OF THE ARTIST rider for their room

Not too bad, right?  A few of my favorites - especially that throw from Pottery Barn.  Have two in my house right now!
What would you ask for?  Remember, the sky's the limit!


have you entered the Ginger Snaps Crafts giveaway yet!?

2 comments:

Mary said...

1. A personal note taker to dictate everything I say onto paper.
2. A pillowtop King Size mattress all to myself with brand new never been laid on white sheets and new pillows all without the 'new' smell.
3. A Starbucks Iced White Chocolate Mocha, nonfat, no whip.
4. A library with a variety of books so I can choose differently according to my mood

That's all for now, this was hard!

mom FITting it all in said...

I like the list!!!! You go ARTIST :)

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